Awkward Moments in History - Part 1
“We’re very sorry for your loss, Mrs. President.” “Thank you, Sir.” “History will show that President Lincoln was a great man. We are all so honored to have worked with him.” “Thank you. I miss him dearly.” “It’s just that the nation is in civil war…. And President Johnson really needs to take command…. I’m...
Crooked Teeth →
The prettiest and most poetic way to tell someone to fuck off, and currently my favorite break-up song.
Dropped a quarter under the vending machine and ended up finding fifty-five cents under there. It’s the small victories, right?
People most frequently say Chris O’Donnell, and sometimes Matthew Perry (but only when I DRESS like Chandler Bing because I do not in fact LOOK like him).
“We are born with such infinite possibilities that it takes an entire lifetime to ruin them all.” I wrote this tweet today, and except for the pessimism, it’s pretty close to how I approach things. I hoard possibilities. I like opening new doors, but not as much as I hate closing other doors. It’s not that I dwell on losing past potential. It’s losing options...
My wife has a recurring dream where I leave her at the altar. I don’t have any dreams about her. I grow sadder each morning when I think back on my dreams in the hope that she was there, and she never is. Pretty soon, I may have to quit remembering them.
Vagina Movie meme
Pretty in Pink
Polynomial Art →
Urban Dictionary meme
I copied the two most descriptive definitions below. I think it’s odd that it kind of matches my astological sign, Taurus. Loyal, Generous, Handsome individual (s), who is/are without a doubt the very best person to love. Jonathan(s) is/are Intelligent, Subtle, Strong, Rock-like Men. They are the best Friends and very best Lovers. Someone who will always say the right thing, He’ll...
I wonder if Tumblr kept crashing because everyone hit it up while Favstar was down.
I spend half my time at work teaching people the cutting edge technologies I’ve learned. Because people tend to bother you a lot when you’re the only person who understands something. I spend the other half of my time learning all new cutting edge technologies. Because job security is good too.
As a child, whenever something cracked me up, my mother would remark, “You have the loveliest laugh. It’s the best sound in the world.” This, of course, made me self-conscious, awkward, and sometimes a little resentful. Now that I have children of my own, I completely understand. I just try not to say anything about it.
I’m home alone with the kids tonight because my wife and her friend went downtown (to try) to meet Duran Duran. Apparently, the band members were spotted checking into the Hilton. They’re playing a concert here later this week. My wife and her friend have no idea what they’re going to do when they get there. I just think it’s cool that she still feels like stalking...
On Twitter yesterday, I saw several variations of the joke “I’m vegetarian and married so I don’t get Steak and BJ Day.” I didn’t make any of those tweets, because for me it’s not a joke. I’ve been a vegetarian for about 15 years. My wife and children are not. I’m fine with that. I do all the cooking at home, and I’m used to preparing...
I only shave about 2-3 times a week. I should probably shave more often, given my profession and level. But as long as 2-3 days growth continues to pass as business casual, I will continue to not give a fuck.
I saw the documentary “Collapse” on Netflix this week, and it changed my world view. Has anyone else seen it? I’m curious whether it’s changed your view of society and it’s future.
I’m a little sad to see HollidayDoc go. I always liked reading what he had to say. When I first joined Twitter, I didn’t care about Twittercides, because I didn’t know the people. The longer I am there, the more frequent and saddening these Twittercides become.
goodybrains asked: What course will you instruct your son to take when he's older and someone starts a physical fight with him? Fight back, walk away, tell someone in charge?
Truthful Tuesday iPod Shuffle
It appears I haven’t updated my iPhone/iPod in several years. Thankfully, it’s already full of kick-ass. Dandy Warhols “Cool as Kim Deal” Belly “Gepetto” Duran Duran “Playing with Uranium” Sneaker Pimps “6 Underground” The Replacements “My Little Problem” Sheryl Crow “Steve McQueen” New Order...