November 2011
54 posts
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October 2011
62 posts
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Rushing
You know how trying to rush can sometimes slow you down?
Earlier this week, I tried to shave too fast and accidentally nicked my nose. I have a pretty long nose, by the way.
You know what they say about men with long noses, right? That we’re trying to overcompensate for something?
My blood runs a little thin and doesn’t clot very easily, which made it challenging and a little...
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I forget...
What are all the party people in the house supposed to say again?
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Iced Coffee
Should be made using ice cubes of frozen coffee, amirite? Or maybe frozen caffeinated water?
I’ve been feeling sluggish at work this afternoon and fantasizing about coffee treats:
Coffee Jello Shots (why should vodka get all the fun)
Espresso Popsicles
Caffeine Gum (which could be awesome when combined with nicotine gum)
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Doing More with Less
My boss’s boss recently left the company. My boss was promoted into that position and I get to “move up” too.
I don’t get a promotion or pay increase, just an increase in workload. Now I’m responsible for the work of about 70 people instead of 15, and across four areas instead of one. Nobody moved into my position so I get to do that too.
Don’t get me wrong....
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Singing in the Car
Singing along to the radio with your kids is one of the unexpected joys of parenthood.
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I don’t need to post a picture of my cock. My cock is the picture of a post.
(Sorry! I missed the excitement, but I keep reading about it.)
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How to Consume a 20-Piece Box of Chicken McNuggets
Sneak your box of McNuggets into the stall of a busy restroom. It’s not important if people can smell the McNuggets, but they shouldn’t see them.
Take a McNugget and coat it entirely in dipping sauce. I prefer ranch for this procedure, but ketchup or barbeque sauce works too. Make sure it’s completely coated.
Grunt loudly. Communicate your inner pain.
Drop the McNugget into...
There’s way more static on the Internet than there ever was on radio.
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Truthful Tuesday
Is like Halloween: the one time we’re encouraged to pull skeletons out of our closet and put them proudly on display.
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Frothcoming
Has to be one of the best typos in the history of typos.
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Margaritas: with salt or without?
I like mine without. Although I do like seasoning on michelada-style beers, so I’m not completely against the stuff. I just don’t like it on margaritas.
I realize this may be heresy, and that well-mixed margaritas are probably improved with a salt rim. I’d just rather have the salt on the tortilla chips.
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Actually...
I’m not even sure *I* know what I did last summer.
I miss you a little, I guess you could say, a...
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50th Anniversary of Catch-22
Yossarian: Is Orr crazy?
Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: Of course he is. He has to be crazy to keep flying after all his close calls he's had.
Yossarian: Why can't you ground him?
Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: I can, but first he has to ask me.
Yossarian: That's all he's gotta do to be grounded?
Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: That's all.
Yossarian: Then you can ground him?
Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: No. Then I cannot ground him.
Yossarian: Aah!
Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: There's a CATCH?
Yossarian: A catch?
Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: Sure. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat isn't really crazy, so I can't ground him.
Yossarian: Ok, let me see if I've got this straight. In order to be grounded, I've got to be crazy. And I must be crazy to keep flying. But if I ask to be grounded, that means I'm not crazy anymore, and I have to keep flying.
Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: You got it, that's Catch-22.
Yossarian: Whoo... That's some catch, that Catch-22.
Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka: It's the best there is.
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WatchHans Rosling and the Magic Washing Machine
I really enjoyed this delightful and very personal discussion of global industrialization and energy consumption. It’s a funny and thought-provoking treatment of a serious issue.
Also, I think it’s important to remember that, to the much of the world, we are the 1%.
Here is a link in case the embedded video doesn’t work for you:
...
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What do you think was invented first: music or...
Music inspires dancing. Emotions inspire me to sing spontaneously more than dance spontaneously. On the other hand, fucking is a pretty primary urge.
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Vultures
I’ve been seeing a lot more vultures feasting on the side of the road recently.
Twice last week I had to stop my car because vultures were eating roadkill in the middle of the road.
(Sorry I don’t have pictures. I was driving!)
That’s not normal, right?
I think it’s a function of the drought and possibly of strained city resources.
Either way, it feels eerily symbolic...
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Tumblr for iPhone
When I’m using the Tumblr iPhone app, I sometimes get frustrated that my dash isn’t moving.
I keep pulling down on it to refresh. It spends some time spinning wheels. Nothing new shows up. Repeat.
After I repeat this cycle a few times. It dawns on me that I’m looking at my previously-hearted “Likes” tab, not the “Dashboard” tab.
This happens more...
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Which Nobel Prize Should You Try To Win?
fakescience:
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The expanding range of emotions I experience each day surprises me.
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Steve Jobs is Still Alive Spam
I received a few emails today saying that Steve Jobs is still alive. They included links to a story with more details. I didn’t click on the links because it is obviously a scam.
Email spammers have sunk to a new low if they want to exploit people’s grief to drive traffic to their sites.
I know I shouldn’t expect better from those people. But I do.
